Who Am I?

The Psalmist asked, "What is man, that thou art mindful of him" (Psalms 8:4)? I echo his words: "Who am I, that thou are mindful of and good to me?" 

In the scriptures, I find doctrinal gems that are glimpses into the eternities that help me know who I truly am. Paul declared, "We are the offspring of God" (Acts 17:29). Both Abraham and Zechariah said that God organized or formed our spirits before this world began (Abraham 3:22 and Zechariah 12:1). Moses spoke of a spiritual creation in heaven before mortal flesh was ever upon the earth (Moses 3:5; see also Genesis 2:5 and Abraham 5:5). God asked Job where he was before the foundations of this earth were laid (Job 38:4) and where he was when "all the sons of God shouted for joy" (Job 38:7). To Jeremiah, He said, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee" (Jeremiah 1:5). In Proverbs we read,

"The Lord possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old.

"I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was.

"When there were no depths, I was brought forth; when there were no fountains abounding with water.

"Before the mountains were settled, before the hills was I brought forth:

"While as yet he had not made the earth, or the fields, or the highest part of the dust of the world.

"When he prepared the heavens, I was there: when he set a compass upon the face of the depth:

"When he established the clouds above: when he strengthened the fountains of the deep:

"When he gave to the sea his decree, that the waters should not pass his commandment: when he appointed the foundations of the earth:

"Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him;

"Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men." (Proverbs 8:21-31, emphasis added).

Paul taught that God promised His children the hope of eternal life before this world ever began (Titus 1:2). He also taught that God called us to accomplish a special work before He laid the foundations of this earth (Ephesians 1:4 and 2 Timothy 1:9). This is likely what Paul meant when he wrote, "For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate" (Romans 8:29).The Holy Spirit confirms to my spirit the truth of these precious scriptural views of my existence before God formed this world. My being extends into time earlier than the days of my earthly life (Job 38:21). God is the Father of my spirit (Acts 17:29). I am literally His spirit child (Romans 8:16). He brought me up; I was also His daily delight; I rejoiced before Him (Proverbs 8:21-31). This wasn't some distant relationship. This was an intimate Father to son relationship that stretched into time long before my birth. This is where I first called Him Father (“O My Father”, Hymns, 292). He nurtured me and taught me. When He promised me the hope of Eternal life (Titus 1:2), I shouted for joy (Job 38:7). I can only imagine what I witnessed as I watched the miracle of creation unfold before my spirit’s eyes. Could I even have been a minor participant in laying the foundations of this earth?

God is mindful of me because He literally is my loving Father and I have been with Him before. He knew me (Jeremiah 1:5) and I knew Him. I am not a mortal being seeking a spiritual experience but I a spirit being that am experiencing mortality.

Trust In God

Known as Nephi’s psalm, the following verses are some of my most favorite passages of scripture. They remind me to always trust in God.

“Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

“Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

“I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

“And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

“My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.

“He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

“Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.

“And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

“And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

“O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

“And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

“Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

“Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

“Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the brock of my salvation.

“O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

“May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

“O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

“O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

“Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I bask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.” (2 Nephi 4:16-35)

Hearing the Voice of the Lord

"...Our Father in Heaven loves His children. He loves us. He loves you. When necessary the Lord will even carry you over obstacles as you seek His peace with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Often He speaks to us in ways that we can hear only with our heart. To better hear His voice, it would be wise to turn down the volume control of the worldly noise in our lives. If we ignore or block out the promptings of the Spirit for whatever reason, they become less noticeable until we cannot hear them at all. Let us learn to hearken to the promptings of the Spirit and then be eager to heed them." (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Waiting on the Road to Damascus", Ensign, May 2011)

"Lovest Thou Me?"

Following Jesus' suffering in Gethsemane, His crucifixion, and His resurrection, Peter and at least six of the other apostles journeyed to Galilee and went fishing. Of this Elder Robert D. Hales said:

"Peter and the others fished all night without catching any fish. The next morning Jesus appeared on the shore and called to them across the water, 'Cast [your] net on the right side.' The disciples in the boat followed the Savior’s instructions and quickly discovered their nets were miraculously filled to overflowing. John recognized the Savior’s voice, and Peter instantly cast himself into the water and swam to the shore.

"...As the brethren returned to the shore, they discovered a feast of fish and bread. 'Come and dine,' the Savior invited. As He fed them, He asked Peter three times, 'Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me?' When Peter expressed his love, the Savior implored him, 'Feed my lambs. … Feed my sheep."(Robert D. Hales, "Being a More Christian Christian," Ensign, November 2012)

Of the question "Lovest thou me?", Elder Jeffery R. Holland said:

"...I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: 'Did you love me?' I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, the first and greatest commandment of them all—'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.' And if at such a moment we can stammer out, 'Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee,' then He may remind us that the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.

“If ye love me, keep my commandments,' Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back. After an encounter with the living Son of the living God, nothing is ever again to be as it was before. The Crucifixion, Atonement, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ mark the beginning of a Christian life, not the end of it. It was this truth, this reality, that allowed a handful of Galilean fishermen-turned-again-Apostles without 'a single synagogue or sword' to leave those nets a second time and go on to shape the history of the world in which we now live." (Jeffrey R. Holland, "The First Great Commandment", Ensign, November 2012)

May we follow in their footsteps and be such disciples.

Greatest of All Gifts

This Christmas, I am most grateful for the transcendent gift of God’s Son, Jesus Christ.

"This little child, born in a stable and cradled in a manger, was a gift from our loving Heavenly Father. He was the promised Redeemer of the world, the Savior of mankind, the Son of the living God. He was with His Father before He came to earth in mortality, the Creator of the earth upon which we stand.

"The...Apostle John gives us a sense of the greatness of this child in the courts on high, from which He came: ‘Without him was not any thing made that was made.’ Yet He came to earth in humble circumstances.

“He worked as a boy and a youth in the carpenter’s shop of Joseph in Nazareth. In His mortal ministry He walked the dusty roads of Palestine, healed the sick, raised the dead, taught His gospel to people who rejected Him, gave His life on Calvary’s hill, and rose on the third day in what began the Resurrection to break the bands of death for us all and so became “the firstfruits of them that slept.”

“Above all, the Savior whose birth we remember this season of the year paid the price of all of our sins. Again the prophet Isaiah, long before our Lord’s birth, saw the gift beyond price of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

[Isaiah] ...gave us this description of what the Savior did for us:

‘Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

‘But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”

(Henry B. Eyring, “The Gift of a Savior,” December 5, 2010)

Christmas Gifts

In the following quote, President Thomas S. Monson reminds us that the greatest gift we can give this Christmas is the gift of ourselves.

"Finding the real joy of the [Christmas] season comes not in the hurrying and the scurrying to get more done or in the purchasing of obligatory gifts. Real joy comes as we show the love and compassion inspired by the Savior of the World, who said, ‘Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these ... ye have done it unto me.’

“At this joyous season, may personal discords be forgotten and animosities healed. May enjoyment of the season include remembrance of the needy and afflicted. May our forgiveness reach out to those who have wronged us, even as we hope to be forgiven. May goodness abound in our hearts and love prevail in our homes.

“As we contemplate how we’re going to spend our money to buy gifts this holiday season, let us plan also for how we will spend our time in order to help bring the true spirit of Christmas into the lives of others.

“The Savior gave freely to all, and His gifts were of value beyond measure. Throughout His ministry, He blessed the sick, restored sight to the blind, made the deaf to hear, and the halt and lame to walk. He gave cleanliness to the unclean. He restored breath to the lifeless. He gave hope to the despairing and bestowed light in the darkness. He gave us His love, His service, and His life.

“...With the pure love of Christ, let us walk in His footsteps as we approach the season celebrating His birth.” (President Thomas S. Monson, “The Spirit of the Season,” December 6, 2009)

The Christmas Spirit

“I am the Christmas Spirit—

“I enter the home of poverty, causing palefaced children to open their eyes wide, in pleased wonder.

“I cause the miser’s clutched hand to relax and thus paint a bright spot on his soul.

“I cause the aged to renew their youth and to laugh in the old glad way.

“I keep romance alive in the heart of childhood, and brighten sleep with dreams woven of magic.

“I cause eager feet to climb dark stairways with filled baskets, leaving behind hearts amazed at the goodness of the world.

“I cause the prodigal to pause a moment on his wild, wasteful way and send to anxious love some little token that releases glad tears—tears which wash away the hard lines of sorrow.

“I enter dark prison cells, reminding scarred manhood of what might have been and pointing forward to good days yet to be.

“I come softly into the still, white home of pain, and lips that are too weak to speak just tremble in silent, eloquent gratitude.

“In a thousand ways, I cause the weary world to look up into the face of God, and for a little moment forget the things that are small and wretched.

“I am the Christmas Spirit.” ( E. C. Baird, “Christmas Spirit,” in James S. Hewitt, ed., Illustrations Unlimited (1988), 81.)